A Frog & a Turtle. 

October 24, 2012 - Posted by Queen&King Lear at 11:44 AM
The other night we were laying in bed, which means my butt is comfortably placed in the huge indent that is, where I always lay. (I'll tell Michael this week that we need to rotate the mattress) Anyhow, you know how a ladie's mind works when we can't fall asleep...we start thinking about what we have to do tomorrow, something we saw on Pinterest, adding things to our grocery list, etc. I was tired, but at this point I was all jazzed about tomorrow.

So, I asked Michael if he was still awake.

ME: Michael, are you still awake?
MICHAEL: (a sluggish yes)
ME: Ugh, I can't fall asleep...
MICHAEL: (sleep noises)
ME: Will you tell me a story? (the benefits of this were two-fold, a good idea to get me to sleep by having my mind on something else, plus it might help me feel young again)
MICHAEL: Uh.... (stirring) What about?
ME: A turtle and a frog.
MICHAEL: (waits a few seconds and starts the story)

THE STORY
Once upon a time there was Frog, and a Turtle, they were best buds. They were always hanging out and one day Turtle, who was slow at many things, leans over to his froggy pal and notices hes got warts. He says, "Dude, I don't think you're a frog. I think you're a toad." Frog is a little annoyed because no one likes being called out for something they can't help. He says, "No, dude I'm totally a frog, my mom told me I was." Turtle thinks a moment and explains in his sensitive manly manner, "You have warts all over your body." 

 The frog rolls his eyes, and walks away from his so-called friend, annoyed as you would expect. He needs to get this whole toad thing figured out for good. So, he goes to visit his friend Owl and he asks Owl, "Do you think I'm a frog or a toad?" Owl says, "Who." "Who? Me of course," said Frog. Owl cocks his head again and says, "Who." Frog, getting annoyed even more exclaims, "ME!" And he shakes his head as he walks away.  Clearly that old Owl has lost his marbles.

 After a bit Frog comes across his other friend, Deer. He rests a minute while she sips out of the stream, and finally asks the question. "Deer, do you think I'm a frog or a toad?" Deer says, "Oh dear," and sips along. "No. I'm asking you Deer, do you think I'm a frog or a toad?" Then Deer watched Frog as he waits for the answer. Waiting. Waiting. Finally, Frog says "NO, you're the deer, am I a frog or a toad?" "Oh dear," says Deer, utterly confused. "Yea, you're a real dear!" Frog yells sarcastically as she gallops into the woods.

Frog may not have as many friends as he thinks. And I guess he'll never know who he really is, thanks a lot, Turtle. 

I was cracking up at the nonsense that befell my earrios that night. I slept well though thanks to this little diddy. I think we may have to alter the message if it ever becomes a children's book.

Thanks for a husband who doesn't know when he's being funny.
-QueenLear